Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?
[x]

deviantART

 
About Me Member One who left DA and came back! La-Serpentia21/Female/Australia Recent Activity Deviant for 6 Years
Needs Premium Membership
Statistics 24 Deviations
5,161 Comments
49,061 Pageviews

Newest

Things I've learned about grief

Wed Nov 4, 2009, 11:01 PM
  • Mood: Peaceful
  • Reading: Norwegian Wood
Am bored at work so thought I'd write a new journal entry. It's been a little while, can't believe it's November already.

My father passed away 19th October around 7am. He had checked into hospital the Thursday prior for pain managementand slipped into a coma. He was in no pain when he passed, which gives us all peace. And most importantly, after we saw how he responded to the pain medications, we were aware that it was unlikely that he'd wake up ever again. We were lucky enough to have a lucid moment with him 2 days before he passed, and we had the chance to say goodbye. Most people don't get that. It was the most beautiful moment in my life and gave me a sense of closure.

He had Motor Neurone Disease which is a terminal incurable illness that stripped him off his dignity & manhood. Worse than this, he was in an incredible amount of pain which was by no means normal for this rare illness. He lived with a daily pain rating of 8 that consumed his body, with the addition of painfully swollen feet which were purple on a good day and fasciculations which are muscle twitches.

I've never dealt with grief like this, and was and am so surprised by some things. Firstly, I'm sick of being asked if there's anything people can do for me. It's such a throw away line, and seems to fulfill people's need to fix things. Or how physical it is - I lost 3.5 kilos in 2 weeks (and am only about 55 kilos usually so that's a lot for me), was dry retching most mornings and constantly nauseous. Or all the attention you get - when our car pulled in at the funeral, everyone moved back to make room. I hate all the attention, so sick of all the hugs (i'm not a big hugging type).

anyway, I am doing ok. I have my good days and bad days, and our family has become so much closer and more supportive through this.

how are you peeps

deviantID

No deviantID yet.

Devious Info

  • Current Residence: sydney
  • Favourite movie: little mermaid
  • Favourite band or musician: the whitlams
  • Favourite poet or writer: beat poetry + donne + more
  • Shell of choice: Seashells
  • Personal Quote: Soon only numbers will be pure
  • MSN: mermaids_are_hot@hotmail.com

deviantART Community Board

[x]

Comments


:iconfleet21:
I am spreading a ridiculous amount of fleet love and by my calculations you are being given a huge percent.

--
^______________^
HAPPY BLUE DEMON LOVE ALL OF ARTS!!!!!!!!!
:iconla-serpentia:
i need the actual percentage please so i can update my spreadsheet

--
Days of wine and roses, days of wine and roses
All the artists flew in and all the arseholes flew out in '72



<`MinorKey> and don't drink so much that you remember having fun...
:iconfleet21:
Approx 85.3%.
I said it was huuuuge!

--
^______________^
HAPPY BLUE DEMON LOVE ALL OF ARTS!!!!!!!!!
:iconla-serpentia:
holy crap, my spreadsheet is outta control. the formulas can't keep up

--
Days of wine and roses, days of wine and roses
All the artists flew in and all the arseholes flew out in '72



<`MinorKey> and don't drink so much that you remember having fun...
:iconfleet21:
WE NEED AN EXCEL WIZARD!!!!!

--
^______________^
HAPPY BLUE DEMON LOVE ALL OF ARTS!!!!!!!!!
:icondavidrussell:
sup la-serpentia

long time no sup, how's life?

--
I'm a signature, get me out of here.

Elitist Forum Whores - We're better than you :|
:iconkaujot:
I'm in love with redheads, Sperp. What can I do to alleviate this problem?

--
This never happened. It will shock you how much it never happened.
:iconla-serpentia:
ummm dye your hair red and fall in love with yourself?

--
Days of wine and roses, days of wine and roses
All the artists flew in and all the arseholes flew out in '72



<`MinorKey> and don't drink so much that you remember having fun...
:iconkaujot:
I am not a girl. :(

--
This never happened. It will shock you how much it never happened.
:iconla-serpentia:
you still haven't fixed your signature

--
Days of wine and roses, days of wine and roses
All the artists flew in and all the arseholes flew out in '72



<`MinorKey> and don't drink so much that you remember having fun...

Site Map